I'm out of Office

The Best 
"Out-Of-Office" E-Mail 
Auto-Replies: 








1: I am currently out at a job 
interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the 
position .

2: I'm not really 
out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this 
automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are 
you wouldn't have received anything at all. 


4: Sorry to have 
missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be 
promoted to management 

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, 
worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be 
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was 
received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been 
charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your 
message. 

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server 
connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer 
and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you 
return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and 
over).

8: Thank you for 
your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 
352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by 
your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for 
my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages. 

11: I've run away 
to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE 
CAKE:

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for 
medical reasons.

When I return, please refer to me as ' 
Loretta 

' 
instead of 'Steve